So I’ve been thinking that there just plain aren’t enough good science fiction movies coming out. Ever since the sequel/remake of The Thing, I’ve been wondering if the time is right for us to revive other established brands and see how well they fare with the help of modern effects and enormous budgets.
The plan is for a movie (or a videogame, perhaps) in the vein of those science fiction/horror classics, titled Alien Versus Predator: Postcolonial Marine.
Now, I understand that this might seem like a niche idea, but essentially it’ll feature a team of sociologists and archaeologists dropped on some far-flung space rock, years after the first few Alien movies. Mankind has by now successfully colonised almost every planet in the galaxy, and it’s the job of this specialised team (landing with a heap of peculiar and futuristic equipment) to document as much as possible the experiences of what it means to be part of the subalternised alien race.
Fun features include:
- The aliens’ dependence on humans for, among other things, food and reproduction
- The constant threat of attack from Predators
- The gradual erosion of non-human rights as colonial miners spread further and further from settlements in search of resources
The film practically writes itself. We could even spend a half hour or so retelling the story from the first Alien movie from the point of view of the alien itself:
- Hostile humans land on homeworld.
- Steal into hatchery, break eggs.
- Smash everything as they escape with one of the aliens.
- Alien gestates and emerges to stage a one-man campaign to repel the interlopers
- Succeeds, but dies in the attempt - saddest story ever told
As I said above, the movie will have niche appeal; living as we do in an age of uncomfortable foreign policies, postcolonial sentiment is often a bit of a hard sell. However, I think there are a couple of markets we can really tap into with this. The inhabitants of disenfranchised postcolonies should be a fairly strong market, but there’s also that strange group of persecuted loners that should identify strongly with the alien characters.
Other groups with whom this should be popular include actual miners, for whom the moral of the story could be, “If you must mine in places you don’t own, try not to harm any freakish alien killing machines you encounter along the way.”
While this might be taking a bit of a “long tail” view of the situation, there’s also a big legacy market to tap once human beings encounter alien life. While the aliens themselves might not be at all interested in such simple things as human film culture, this movie showing the necessities of delicate intercultural relationship will likely end up on school curriculums the world over.
If anyone has any friends in the movie industry, give them my number, we’ll “do lunch.”*
*In the event that the person you’re about to refer me to is, in fact, an alien, please do not inform them that I will meet them for lunch. Racist as it might be, I worry that they might ram their ovipositor down my throat and lay a clutch of broodlings in my belly.