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Sir David Attenborough demonstrates the accuracy of the Mozambique Spitting Cobra’s venom streams by wearing a chemically treated visor that makes the venom turn purple on contact.

From Life in Cold Blood

DAVID ATTENBOROUGH IS MORE HARDCORE THAN ANY DOCUMENTARIAN CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE. 

DID CARL SAGAN DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS SHIT? I THOUGHT NOT. BILL NYE? FUCK NO.

BEAR GRILLES IS A PIECE OF SHIT COMPARED TO THIS CARAMEL-VOICED ENGLISH BASTARD. 

SIR ATTENBOROUGH IS A BILLION YEARS OLD AND HE WILL NOT STOP. HE IS THE TERMINATOR OF NATURE DOCUMENTARIES. HE’S CLIMBED TO THE TOP OF THE HIGHEST JUNGLE TREE TO LOOK AT LILIES. HE’S SOARED IN THE SKY IN A GLIDER WITH VULTURES. HE CROSSED THE PACIFIC TO SEE WHALES. HE’S EVEN BEEN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE GODDAMN OCEAN TO TALK ABOUT THE SPOOKY-ASS SHIT THAT LIVES DOWN THERE.  KILIMANJARO?  BEEN THERE. NORTH POLE? BEEN THERE. SAHARA DESERT? BEEN THERE MULTIPLE TIMES. FUCKING VOLCANOES?  BEEN AND DONE.  FUCKING AUSTRALIA? ENTIRE SHOWS THERE. HE WILL NOT STOP. HE WILL NEVER STOP.  NOT UNTIL HIS SMOOTH-ASS FATHERLY VOICE AS TAUGHT US ALL ABOUT ALL THE NATURE FOREVER.

I have to reblog this because of my deep and abiding love for David Attenborough. 

For the sake of adding something, here is a documentary I made of David Attenborough talking about the life cycle of the alien from Alien: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCV7OGEfydk

I spend my days working in The Loft Bookshop to help out a friend. It’s pretty quiet, so I take the time I can to write letters and apply for jobs. This is the first video I’ve done from there. It’s a documentary on the “xenomorphs” from the Alien movies, voiced by the voice of education, Sir David Attenborough. 

It ended up taking far more work/time than I’d expected, but once it was under way I felt like it would be a waste to just leave it half-finished. I hope you enjoy it :)

Alien

  • Me:

    What confuses me about Alien is, if the face hugger thing lies eggs in your belly-

  • Flash:

    Well, somewhere in the abdomen.

  • Me:

    Right! So those eggs hatch and the alien creature thing tears out of you.

  • Flash:

    Yeah...

  • Me:

    So I guess my question is, where do the original eggs come from?

  • Flash:

    From a queen.

  • Me:

    Ah, but where does the queen come from!?

  • Flash:

    Well, I guess it's a... line of succession sort of a thing.

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